The gay pervert's curse
by Ewen1
Summary: Well, Hakkai's chuffed, Goku has a poster of the dark riders and Sanzo and Gojyo finally get what they want.. no more legs for Gojyo! Sanzo/Goku. Gojyo/Hakkai Chibi neko Goku!!
1. The pervert strikes!

Ok!!! i'm back!! Before I say anything else I would like to announce that... YES!!! Ahahaha!!! I have converted the youngest of my older brothers to the world of fanfiction!!! Go me!! 

This fanfiction is very different to my former one due to the fact that its my birthday and i'm a bit depressed cos i'm 17!! what happened to my childhood!!? * runs off, hugs her brothers and comes back * There, now I feel better! Any way i'm writing this fic to cheer up me, and who ever reads it, so read on my friend! and please review!! 

This is mild Sanzo/Goku, Hakkai/Gojio 

(......) this is the author's paranoiac rantings, //......// character's thoughts, * something to be explained at the bottom 

Disclaimer: Saiyuki doesn't belong to me!!!..... like it isn't obvious 

oh! and pleeease go read my brothers fic, it called Garry Trotter and the Philosopher are stoned. Go on * pokes you in the direction of Harry Potter fanfiction* ^ ^ go on, its funny!! Any way!! on with the fic!! 

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Goku, as it was natural for the monkey, was hungry. Well, hungry didn't describe it properly, starving, dying from lack of food... yes that was more like it 

He looked towards the front of the jeep, he knew they knew he was hungry, hell! it was obvious! He knew they knew he was going to moan about it any second. He knew Sanzo was dying to hit on the head him with his fan, he could see his fingers twitching. But he also knew that they didn't know he knew that they knew. Goku stopped this train of thought as it became to confusing to follow. 

He sat back, he wasn't going to get hit today, no sir! He'd decided against it, so he kept quiet. 

Sanzo's hands were shaking, it wasn't normal for the saru to take so long about proclaiming his hunger to the four winds. Sanzo thought for a moment that he might be worried about the boy, true he wouldn't mind getting in to the boy's pants.. but, worried? it just wasn't his style. He was beginning suffer from withdrawal, he needed to hit something, preferably some one, with his fan. He stroked it lovingly. 

//_Yesss, my precioussss//_

His left eyebrow started twitching. 

Goku finally gave in. Hakkai was looking round, grinning worriedly at everyone and mumbling to himself. Gojyo was torn between twisting his hair whilst making funny noises and giving Goku funny looks for upsetting Hakkai, yes, even the "baka saru" had worked out the school girl crush Gojyo had on Hakkai. But the person that most worried Goku was the blond monk. 

//_I hope he doesn't have an attack//_

And there for Son Goku, due to worry for his keeper, sacrificed himself on the group's behalf. 

"I'm hungry" 

WHACK!! "Baka monkey!!" 

"Bloody saru always thinking about food" 

"Don't worry Goku, we'll reach the next town soon" 

And there you are, Gojyo had been able to insult him. Hakkai had been able to comfort some one and Sanzo had been able to hit someone with his fan. Yes, Goku was the calm, sane little centre of this small universe of lunatics. It was he who kept the status quo of this little world, yet little did he know what Wargod had in store for him 

(Muahahahaha!!! ^ ^ ) 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai pulled into the inn's parking lot, Goku immediately started grinning insanely, Gojyo began to wildly look around for girls ( Hey! I can't make his feelings for Hakkai that clear,... not yet...) and Sanzo began fingering his credit card, wondering just how much it was going to cost this time. 

Though these reactions were what they were expecting, they weren't expecting that old man to come running out of a house near by and try to pull Sanzo. Never the less, said old man was running towards the blonde monk, arms outstretched. 

" Oooooo, Blondie!! What a sexy body you have!!" 

But before Sanzo could get his gun out, before the gay old man (Man? .. where did that come from?) could latch on to Sanzo, before Hakkai and Gojyo could even register what was going on, the noibyo * staff crashed down on to the old man's head leaving the poor sod giggling to himself. 

The old man, however, leapt up immediately and screeched at Goku, out of nowhere he whipped out a cat's tail and slapped Goku round the face with it. The perverted overly gay old man gave a perverted overly gay laugh and ran away squealing; 

"La venganza caera' sobre ti con forma felina. Jodete gatito!!!" * 

Sanzo stood sweatdropping, Gojyo was clutching his sides, laughing and Hakkai was having a moment of intense kawaiing, 

//_ Aawww, Goku saved Sanzooo. How incredibly cuuute!!//_

__Sanzo's fan came crashing down on both Gojyo's and Goku's head. 

"What did I do?!" 

"Baka! I do not need your help!!" 

Sanzo swished in to the inn they'd been heading for when, quite suddenly, there was a loud popping noise. The monk wouldn't have bothered turning round if it hadn't been for Hakkai speaking. 

" Holy shit " exclaimed Hakkai 

Sanzo whirled round and found chibi Goku, a chibi Goku with a tail and a cute pair of kitty ears. 

Holy shit indeed. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

^_____^ REEEVIEWWW !!! Please? 

If anyone wants to see what Neko chibi Goku chan ( That's a mouthful!!) looks like, just tell me and I'll mail the picture to you. 

Does anyone want another character to become a chibi neko? Please tell me. 

O.k, * number 1:Goku's staff is called this in Spanish, I don't know what it's called in English. 

* number 2: This is Spanish, it means; revenge will fall upon you with feline form, f*** you kittykat !!!! Ha! he was a gypsy, he was. ^__^ 


	2. The return of the pogo man!

O.k thank you to all of the people who reviewed and a huge thanks to the Alchemist and Chibi_onna for reviewing my first ever fic. 

Now as the one with most votes to become a chibi neko was Gojyo, ... his time has come!! ...how on earth am I going to do it?! 

Disclaimer: Saiyuki isn't mine. The cat ears are though!! 

This is Sanzo/ Goku, Gojyo/ Hakkai 

Anyone who wants to see the completed picture of neko Goku just give me a shout. Those that asked for it previously will have already received the completed version. I hope you liked it !! 

* * * * * * * * * * * 

Neko Goku chan ( as I have decided to call him) sat looking up happily at Sanzo with that smile that only cats seem to know how to do. 

Sanzo, meanwhile, was suffering from shock and a heavy bout of disappointment. 

//_How the hell am I supposed to have sex with a cat!!!??//_

No, indeed, this was not good. Goku chose this moment to start rubbing his head against Sanzo's chest, Hakkai smiled fondly as Sanzo's eye began twitching. 

"I think he's hungry " 

Gojyo would have said something about the scene in front of him if it had not been that he was, at the moment, having difficulty maintaining his urine in his bladder due to laughing. 

Goku closed his eyes, snuggled up to Sanzo and started purring. Gojyo ran to the bathroom. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai set down a bowl of stew in front of Goku chan. The cat boy then proceeded to stuff his face. 

Gojyo returned to his seat next to Hakkai( He, he ^ ^ **next . to. Hakkai**. ^___^)* 

" Well, what do we do now?" 

Sanzo shrugged and shook his head. The 3 older men began discussing what to do next, well, Gojyo and Hakkai did, the blonde monk limited himself to grunting occasionally. 

Goku had, by now, eaten all his food, and Gojyo's as well. He there for began to lick himself clean ( That sounds awful!) Once finished he focused his attention on his master, true, the other two would need cleaning but, he'd deal with them later. ( Oooo, the possibilities ^ ^) 

Sanzo's brain took a while to register what was going on. What was going on turned out to be that; Goku, cat ears or not, had just licked Sanzo's bottom lip. Goku, sweet, innocent Goku had just passed his tongue... No! Was passing histongue over his keeper's lips. It wasn't until Goku's little tongue slipped between Sanzo's lips that he finally reacted, ...by falling off his chair. 

Gojyo barley made it to the toilet before wetting his pants, Hakkai was giggling like a hyperactive 5 year old Sanzo though, stayed in his position on the floor. 

Half an hour later and after the sudden bouts of hysterical giggling had subsided Goku had managed to make his way on to Sanzo's lap and was now flicking his tail from side to side with half his body dangling off Sanzo's knee. He was purring contentedly, completely oblivious to what his purring was doing to the older man's groin. * 

//_This is not happening!!_// 

Sanzo in the meantime was having a full blown battle with his rapidly increasing libido 

//_He's a chibi for f***'s sake!!//_

_//Okay, I admit that the chibiness has got to go..//_

_//Thank you!!//_

_//The cat ears stay though ,...mmmmm ...kinky//_

_//Kinky!?... but.. I thought we'd agreed on leather?//_

_//Yeah, but, think about it ..Goku with a cat tail, ...a cute pair of kitty ears ,....dressed in skin tight leather....//_

_//...Oooooo...//_

"Sanzo!!!" 

Goku jolted in Sanzo's lap as the monk jumped in surprise. 

"What!" 

" Nothing.. you looked ..kind of ..... faraway" 

"You!...." 

In a bush not to far from the inn, just under the window in fact sat a very twisted strange old man who giggled at the argument that was taking place inside the inn. Yes! Perverted Overly Gay Old man, whose name we shall abbreviate to P.O.G.O man (Ahahaha! that wasn't done on purpose, I didn't know it would come out like that when I first wrote it!) (Pogo man, ahahahaha!) was back and was at that moment observing the object of his desire.( Urgh!) P.o.g.o man had a plan and it was a ruddy good un'. Yes, he would turn all of the blonde mans friends in to nekos and then he would kidnap his loved one, Ha! the perfect plan. 

" He will be mine.., Oh yes,.. he will be mine " 

Pogo man then set out to complete his master plan. He proudly brought out the infamous cat tail and held it triumphantly out in front of him. 

" I will never be able to properly thank the girl who gave me this, what did she say she was called?... something like .. Ewen.. Warder..??.. ah no! Wargod! that was it!" (That girl has nothing to do with me! * starts panicking * I swear I've never seen that cat's tail in my life!! * runs off quickly *) 

Pogo man stood up at the window and peered inside. Once he'd spotted his target, he took aim. 

Inside Gojyo was rubbing the lump on his head. He hadn't deserved that last hit. He looked fondly at Hakkai and couldn't help grinning stupidly. 

//_Hakkai defended me!//_

It was at that moment that he felt something clout him round the cheek. 

"What the f*** !?" " A cat's tail?" 

The cat tail was whisked away, out through the window. Sanzo closed his eyes and waited for Hakkai's voice to confirm his suspicions .There was a loud popping noise. 

"BOLLOCKS!!" announced Hakkai 

Sanzo groaned and opened his eyes. Rubbing himself against Hakkai was a chibi Gojyo with its eyes closed and its blood red tail flicking from side to side. Its ear flattened as he rubbed against Hakkai again. 

Once again Hakkai had described the moment perfectly. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Thank you again all that reviewed. And those who haven't please do! And those that have, feel free to review again!^__^. I solemnly swear that I will do a more Gojyo/ Hakkai in the next chapter, I haven't done hardly any, Sorry! 

Oh and I forgot to say that the picture includes Gojyo, Hakkai and Sanzo as chibi nekos, just their a little smaller. * number 1; I'm no good at Gojyo/Hakkai but I'll try harder. * number 2; This is the scene that the picture belongs to. **Shout out to ShiNi_ChYan!!!!! **The delivery to your e mail address failed, that's why I couldn't send you the picture. I'll try again soon , it not that I'm ignoring you**** ****Well until the next time, May the horse be with you! 


	3. A veiw of POGO man's house

Reviews, reviews, reviews!!!! I love them! I love you all!! I will erect a monument in reviewers name and I shall offer it sacrifices. 

I would like to thank; **Aori**; Yey! I'm glad you found it funny! There will be more Gojyo/Hakkai as the story goes on. **SephirothduMatrea**; Yup, Sanzo's damn lucky all right, but I think I should torture him more... **Fei**; I'm glad you liked my Goku in leather idea. Thank you for the suggestions, I've worked out how to do it. I still want to know what everyone else thinks but I might just keep it secret. **Chibi_onna**; wai! you reviewed this one too!? I've finally learnt how to draw Konzen so I'll sent the pic soon. **Amy_little pearl**; Thank you! I hope you liked the picture! **Blinkie**; I bow down to you, I loved reflections on Misty Rain but I haven't reviewed it yet, sorry! **Kithren**; You like my story!! Yey!! **Me**; I'm sorry, I bodged up on your e mail but thanks very much for the reviews! **DragoraGirl**; Thank you again for telling me the name of the staff. **ShiNi_ChYan**; Did you receive the picture? I tried to post it again but it failed to deliver it, any ideas on what to do? I hope you like this chapter! **Kyri;** Thank you, thank you, thank you!! **Akasha**; I like your idea about the tail! Can I use it? Please? and finally, **Anime Cat**; See, Gojyo's a chibi neko too!! 

I'm thanking you individually because every single review means a lot to me, no matter how short or simple. It's really nice to know that people like what I'm writing. 

I talk to much! 

This is Sanzo/Goku, Gojyo/Hakkai 

Disclaimer: Saiyuki does not belong to me, but woe betide if it did!! 

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P.O.G.O man was sat down at a table in his house. He smiled to himself, yes, soon that blonde sex god would be his and his only. He was sat in the kitchen, which was decorated in a 'not as overly gay as his overly gay laugh' style. Oh! Many had said that the phosphorescent pink colour of the wall just didn't go with the tacky bright orange of the curtains but those people had disappeared shortly after so it didn't bother him. 

He stood up and began to brush his moustache, given that it was the only hair left on his head. He added more polish to his bald scalp to give it that perfect shine. 

//_Must look my best for my frisky blonde pet!//_ ( I think I'm going to be sick) 

He hummed happily as he skipped towards the door, he readjusted his fairy wings and made sure that he'd put on his leopard skin tanga. He then exited the house.* 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Something flicked against Sanzo's face, the blonde man wearily opened an eye. Once focused he realised that directly in his field of vision was ...Goku's arse... 

//_Goku's small, tight little arse//_

It was at that moment that various chibis appeared in Sanzo's mind and began pirouetting whilst singing in high pitched voices. 

"Chibi, chibi, chibi" 

Sanzo groaned loudly and sat up in his bed. Goku was startled from his sleep and looked up. It seemed his master was awake, and, awww wasn't his master cute when he'd just woken up? with his hair all messed up and a really sweet sleepy look on his face? * 

Goku began purring and rubbing against Sanzo, the older man picked up the chibi neko and held him in front of his face. Goku lent forward and started nuzzling his face against the monk's cheek. 

Knowing that it would never win, the rational part of Sanzo's brain had given up in the Second Mind War against his libido, however his conscience had taken it's place. 

_// You .Are. Disgusting! Shame on you! How can you get turned on by a Chibi!?//_

_//Kitty ears, kitty ears, kitty ears, kitty ears....//_

Finding his libido's happy sing-songy voice to much for his morning attitude he went to have a shower, it wasn't until he'd got in the shower that he realised that he'd taken Goku with him and that the little neko was purring louder than before.... 

Hakkai decided that he really had to talk to Sanzo. They couldn't just leave Gojyo like this and if Goku was a neko too... who the hell was Hakkai supposed to comfort? He was beginning to feel insecure. Nobody needed a shoulder to cry on, so what could the man do? Not only that, but how was Gojyo going to screw him if he was so small? The fact that Gojyo was a neko didn't bother him in the slightest, Oh no! Gojyo was an awesomely cute cat, so, why would he complain? 

He entered Sanzo's room just in time to catch the chibi neko that was being thrown out of the bathroom by a very red faced monk. Hakkai held the chibi in his arms next to Gojyo. The red haired neko didn't seem to happy about the arrangement though, how could he be? Hakkai was his and he was not going to share him with some chibi mutant monkey neko boy, no way! So he kicked the other neko until he fell to the floor. 

"Gojyo!!" 

The green eyed yokai scolded the chibi neko but his words were answered with a wide sparkly eyed look. The chibi kappa then began rubbing against Hakkai's chest. 

_// He could of bloody well done that when he was full sized//_

Hakkai sighed, oh well, he was going to make the most of it. 

Although Gojyo had effectively convinced the older man, he'd most definitely not convinced Goku who began meowing loudly. Sanzo rushed out of the bathroom fully dressed, to find a chibi Gojyo being very friendly with Hakkai's chest, said yokai grinning nervously and Goku on the floor with a nasty bruise on his forehead. 

" What the f***?" 

Hakkai immediately bolted out the door, he wasn't going to let Sanzo beat up his beloved kappa. 

" Whu.. Where you going!?.. Your the healer!!" 

Due to the yokai's rapid footsteps and the distance the he'd covered, the answer was barley heard. 

"Try kissing it better!!" 

Sanzo looked down at the still loudly meowing chibi and gulped. He normally wouldn't have bothered, but it was such an annoying noise and it was so loud. 

//_It's just a little kiss on his forehead..//_

_//and one on his nose and one on his lips, no, make that various..//_

Sending his libido to burn in the most perilous fires of Hell, Sanzo gently picked the chibi up.... * 

He held the chibi neko by his chest, he couldn't believe he was doing this, once he got his hands on Hakkai he would insert his harisen where the sun had never shone. 

He closed his eyes and lowered his lips towards Goku's forehead. The neko however had other ideas. He softly placed a hand on either side of Sanzo's face, he lightly closed his eyes and tilted his head upwards. Sanzo's lips landed gently on the chibi's much smaller ones. The monk slowly pulled away and opened his eyes again. 

//_Foreheads aren't like that....//_

_//OOOOOO, that wasn't his forehead, mate!//_

Sanzo looked down at the chibi neko who still had his eyes closed, a peaceful expression gracing his features and a slight blush on his cheeks. 

//_Oh, joy!//_ remarked Sanzo's libido. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

I've done another picture, Its a Sayuki pic but I'm not going to tell you what it's of... you'll just have to trust me * evil grin * I'm sure you'll like it!! Gimmie a shout if you want to see it ^ ^. 

I think this chapter's shorter than the others.. oh well! I'm sorry! 

* number one; I have created a monster!! 

* number two; I had a mental picture of this that's why it's a bit dragged out. 

* number three; I was going to leave this scene here but I decided that that would be cruel and I really like you guys so... 

I love reviews!! A big thanks to LadyJessy who's just reviewed Sunshine. Wai!!!!! * rolls around on the floor *. I hope you all like this chapter!! I think the story's going to get fluffier as I go along... I'm on a review high you see. 


	4. POGO man's perfect plan

^_____^ REEEEVIEWSSS, thank you so much!! I'd like to thank the same people as before and also **SephirothduMatrea**; do you know how difficult your name is!? And yes he was acting ooc but don't worry I've fixed that **Spoon**; yey! another brit!! Happy, happy, joy, joy!! **Abelle**; I love your fic frivolous lovers! I feel honoured! **Kat**; I think you'll like this chapter a lot! **Shikuo** **Yamitsuki**; Plans of world domination? sounds fun! Can I take part? Oh! I've tried to send the picture but its saying the same as with ShiNi ChYan! Have you got another e mail? 

**ShiNi ChYan!! *** sobs loudly* I really can't sent that e mail! I've tried 5 times and it won't work! Have you got another e mail address I can send it to?? Or maybe one of your friends cos I really don't know how to get it to you. 

Well, I believe you'll want to read the story.. I'm not sure if this chapter is less humorous than the others if it is, warn me. 

Disclaimer: I, most obviously, do not own Saiyuki. If I did most people wouldn't watch it or read it from fear. 

And finally a challenge to all those who read this!!! (ooo, a challenge! I'm being brave! ) try and write a Saiyuki fanfiction in which Goku wears a skirt, Gojyo gets high, Hakkai beats up some one unexpected and Sanzo gets a nose bleed. No oocness allowed unless it has an excuse, example; their all high on drugs, a spell, an awful accident, ect Anyone accept the challenge? no one? I thought as much... 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The wind blew lightly through the trees. Autumn was approaching. Leaves floated down, covering the soil with warm, rich colours. An elderly couple strolled along enjoying the soft sunlight. The aged woman looked up to the tops of the trees, her old but still avid eyes spotted a dark object soaring across the sky. 

" Look Arnold, its a flying cat" 

"Nonsense Milly! Cats can't fly! It'll be one of them new damfangled tecnoclocik thingys, what ever their called..." 

"Oh! You mean a kite" 

"That's the one!" 

Chibi Goku only managed to vaguely wonder how high he was as the world rushed around him in a blur of autumn colours. 

As soon as his morning grogginess had gone and the full weight of the occurrences had hit him, Sanzo had set about avenging himself. 

_//How strange, its normally Goku or Gojyo I'm hitting..//_

For good measure Sanzo slapped the remaining chibi with his fan, sending it flying out the window he'd previously flung Goku out of. The now, not as annoyed as before monk turned back to Hakkai and resumed to beating the shit out of him. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

His hand reached in-between his bum cheeks and pulled out the G string of his tanga that had somehow got wedged up there as he'd got skipping towards the inn where his beloved resided.. for now, because as soon as he'd kidnapped him they were to marry and then they'd live in P.O.G.O mansion. 

The happy image of himself in a beautiful white wedding dress with his arm around his equally beautiful blonde groom floated in to his mind. Oh yes, P.O.G.O man would look absolutely wonderful, holding his bouquet of pink roses. The wedding dress would cling to his plumb figure marvellously and it would swish as he walked. (I'm really starting to feel sick now) 

A white dress because, indeed, apart from the odd squirrel _(.....Squi..rrel..?)_ P.O.G.O man was a virgin at heart (...oh.. dear.. God.... I can't believe I'm writing this!!) 

As he reached the inn he decided to spy on his loved one for a while. He approached the window... 

"Oh yeah! You hit him harder! Yes, he's been a bad boy!! Harder baby, meow!! Grrrr!" 

P.O.G.O man started rubbing his hands up and down his thighs faster and faster as he watched Sanzo beat Hakkai over the head with his fan. Drool began landing on his shiny purple leggings. 

"Rrrr, Yeah you know how I like it!" ( I'm seriously starting to worry about my mental health ) 

Sanzo sat down at the table and lit a fag. He was now feeling slightly better with himself and it seemed that his libido had finally shut up. 

" And anyway... I got to kiss Goku ^ ^ " 

He sat back and waited for the 2 nekos to return. An hour later the stray chibis returned, Hakkai, althogh still a bit wobbly on his feet went to greet them. 

" Oh dear, Goku's all wet " 

As if on cue the chibi neko sneezed, Gojyo began giggling madly. He suddenly threw himself on the floor and started rolling around grinning in a very strange way. Hakkai placed both nekos on the table and went off to find Goku some dry clothes. 

//_What the hell is wrong with the kappa?//_

Gojyo had now started biting the side of the table, his eyes darting wildly round the room *. Sanzo recognised the plant that Gojyo had sticking out of his pocket, he cocked an eyebrow and pulled on his cigarette. 

"Catnip" 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Goku twirled round in his new clothes, and, yes, twirled is the right word... Sanzo looked up at Hakkai, for some reason the left side of the monk's face seemed to be having an epileptic fit. Hakkai grinned and wrung his hands. 

"They were the only clothes his size that I could find!" 

Chibi Gojyo woke from his position in Hakkai's lap. He eyed Goku suspiciously, then his eyes fell on what the other chibi was wearing. 

Gojyo, it seemed, had a gland that segregated a certain kind of hormone on a determinate impulse, the impulse being the existence of a skirt within 10 meters of the subject in question ( Its a scientifically proven fact, boys and girls ) 

Goku, unfortunately for him, was wearing one. Hakkai had beaten up a 5 year old girl to get it * but it was that or let Goku go naked and Sanzo just wouldn't have survived that ( I'm cruel but that would be plain evil). It was a nice skirt, a white one, just above knee height and rather full flowing, if he span around it flew out and due to being so light it would rise to nose bleed height. Another problem presented itself when Goku lifted his tail... The chibi in question span again and Sanzo's nose began to bleed, he discreetly shoved some toilet paper up his nostrils. 

Goku, for his part, looked only mildly bemused as Gojyo attached himself to his backside, The chibi kappa however had miscalculated the force he used to reach the other neko, due to this both chibi nekos went flying off the table. A rather upset Hakkai bent down to pick them up while Sanzo madly tried not to shoot the kappa, which resulted in much shaking and twitching. 

"I think we should separate them " 

Sanzo grunted and bent down to pick chibi Goku up. 

_//What the hell!?//_

Sanzo felt his blood begin to boil and not only the left side of his face, if not his whole body started twitching. A rather vicious grin appeared on his face as he watched Goku accept... well... encourage the attentions. 

Hakkai whipped Gojyo up in his arms with a shocked expression on his face. Sanzo did his best at not ripping anything to pieces. 

_// Oooh, the kappa will pay!!//_

P.O.G.O man saw his chance, the green eyed man was completely unprotected. He grinned and threw the cat tail with all his might. 

"Yes! He's mine!!" 

Sanzo straitened up with Goku in his arms and felt something collide with the back of his head. 

" POP" 

"...KAWAI!!!" squealed Hakkai. 

"OH, F***!!!!" shrieked P.O.G.O man. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Weeell? If you don't like it please say. 

* number one; This act had me laughing for an entire day, Don't ask me why! 

* number two; Yes they were dolly clothes and, I'm sorry but the mental picture of Hakkai running up to a 5 year old with pigtails, smashing her face in, ripping the clothes off her doll and glancing around nervously before legging it was hilarious!!! Ahahahahaha! I'm still laughing about it!! 

For anyone who doesn't know what catnip is; its a plant that, if given to cats, make them do very strange things. Its like a drug to them. 

And now.... review, review, review, review, ... I think you get the idea 


	5. Wow POGO man has a name!

AAAAAHHHHHGGGGG!!!! someone, help me!! I need mental care! I need I psychiatrist!! Please help me!! I've just seen the film of ..........THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! * runs off screaming * What the hell was Alec Baldwin thinking of!!!! 

I'm sorry for making you all wait so long for the next chapter but my holidays are over and getting up at half 5 in the morning does not leave me in the mood to write comedy , my first exams are coming up and, anyway, if I'm on the computer I always get chucked off because whatever I'm doing "isn't important" I'm very sorry. 

**In the last chapter a few said they got confused**. I'm sorry about that sometimes I forget how much I've told you or, because I know what's going on I forget to make it clearer, but basically , I think this is the scene that confused you, Sanzo finally realised that Goku had actually kissed him, got pissed off and threw Goku out the window. Goku flew a couple of miles and landed in a pond/ lake/ sea. Sanzo beats up Hakkai cos the " kiss it better" idea was his. He thwacked Gojyo out the window for a laugh. Gojyo landed in a catnip bush 

Well now, a huge thanks to everyone that reviewed... all the people that reviewed before as well as ; **chris, jm, eiree** and **deru, **may I welcome you all to the world of Wargod ........ Ahahahaha, haha, hahahahaha, ahem! 

Disclaimer; Saiyuki is not mine if it was it would be the main reason for people becoming psychopaths.... 

Well children it's time for your bedtime fic.... let see if Sanzo finally gets to ...'play' ^ ^ with Goku... 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Sanzo flicked his newly gained cat ears, he glared at his now clawed hand. His eyebrow twitched, he was not a happy bunny. He death glared Gojyo from across the table, the kappa, completely oblivious to the promises of painful death coming from the other side of the table, continued his flirting with Goku. The chibi kappa winked again at the boy and was bowled over by Sanzo who had just thrown himself at him. 

Goku meanwhile was rubbing his head against Hakkai's arm trying to cheer him up. 

The green eyed yokai sighed as he watched Sanzo beat up Gojyo. 

//_ He deserves it for glomping Goku and not me.//_

The cat fight for Goku got more and more violent, fur began to fly ...well more accurately Gojyo's hair began to fly as Sanzo began ripping out handfuls of it. 

Triumphant, the mini monk jumped up, grabbed his trophy (Goku ^ ^ ) and legged it. Out the door he ran, dragging Goku with him, out the door and to the Highly Conveniently Placed Forest nearby. 

Gojyo took a napkin, reached up and, as gently as he could started dabbing at the tears that were rolling down Hakkai's cheeks. The neko kappa was pouting, obviously upset at the older man's sadness. Hakkai's glare softened, and a sweet smile appeared on his lips. 

" Oh Gojyo, would you have done the same if it had been me wearing that dress ?" 

Surprisingly, for anyone that had seen Gojyo's obvious crush on Hakkai.... so ... everyone except Hakkai, the chibi kappa shook his chibi head. He walked over to the saltcellar and placed a foot on it, he raised his arms in a triumphant stance and turned to Hakkai. 

" You mean if it was me, you would have won?" 

The kappa nodded fervently. 

" Oh, Gojyo!" 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

P.O.G.O man sobbed loudly, he clenched his fists in his pink, satin, Bob the Builder sheets. He'd screamed, cried, shouted, demanded and had even stomped his feet. But his violet eyed sex toy ( Ahhg! I'm doing it again!) had remained a neko. As P.O.G.O man was a little on the thick side it took a while for him to come up with a new plan so he prayed to his Tweeny gods, most importantly, to Milo god of all leather clad blonde things. The pinkish light from his Hello Kitty lamp shone down on the cheap plastic figure revealing that it wasn't Jake at all if not... Portland Bill; god of all unhealthy, disgusting, cradle snatching, crushes. P.O.G.O man had already closed his curtains so he began the ritual. Suddenly everything clicked in his sad, perverted mind. He rose, fist clenched, a cliff emerged out of his bedroom floor, waves crashing against it. 

"Yes! As he is a chibi neko, I'll simply wait until he's alone and then ' catnapp' him!" ( Oh God...) 

" Ha! He will be all mine! MINE!!!" 

Behind him lightning struck and then thunder clapped and then they both ran away from the cliff giggling ( Oh dear...). P.O.G.O man rubbed the place where some nutter called ' lightning' had hit him and the waves broke against the cliff again. 

" Yes, my loved one .. we will be together.." 

He gazed up at his poster of Postman Pat and Fireman Sam in a rather... delicate position. He clasped his hands. 

// _Yes my darling we too shall use that position on our wedding night//_

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai stared out of the inn's balcony. He watched how Goku's clothes flapped in the wind as they dried. 

//_ How very strange...//_

Hakkai reached out and grabbed Goku's boxers, but they weren't chibi sized like they should be, instead they were normal sized, big enough to fit a grown up Goku but most definitely not the small chibi that Sanzo had dragged away. 

//_ How very, very strange...//_

( Take note; Goku's clothes are still drying, there for he is still wearing the skirt.... and** no** underwear..) 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Goku ran as fast as he could, chibi Sanzo still hadn't let go of his hand. Unfortunately the chibi monk hadn't heard the loud popping noise from earlier on. It was now a full sized Goku that was running after the neko. The chibi stopped and turned round and bumped in to Goku's legs, he immediately glared upwards. 

Sanzo, is a chibi, and there for barley reaches half way up Goku's legs. (Now is a good time to remember the scene with Hakkai from just before) (Oh! And, due to holes in the plot Goku's skirt has grown with him). We now have a fully grown Goku in a flowing skirt standing, as most boys do, with his legs apart and a chibi Sanzo looking upwards... 

Goku could have sworn Sanzo was purring.... 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

P.O.G.O man skipped as fast as his perverted, overly gay legs could carry him through the woodland. His G_string was making its way up his crack again. Although the sensation was rather .. enjoyable, he was on a mission. He squealed as another branch hit him, he stomped his feet and huffed for awhile, suddenly, a voice echoed through the wood, startling all the birds. 

" What the f*** is going on?!!" 

P.O.G.O man smiled triumphantly, he'd found his prey. He whipped out his Big Red Handbag.. he'd gotten the idea from his idol; Tinky Winky. Oh yes! P.O.G.O man deeply admired Tinky Winky; his gay actions, his beautiful red handbag, his purpleness, the deranged affair he had with Dipsy... P.O.G.O man was angered at the thought. Dipsy would never appreciate Tinky properly. 

P.O.G.O man had wished many times that his parents had called him Tinky Winky but, no, his parents had called him Daisy. It wasn't a very bad name.. he was very happy his parents didn't call him something ridiculous like.. Thomas. Urgh! he shuddered at the thought. 

The voice erupted again. 

" ... KAWAI!!!!" 

Sanzo felt the wind being squeezed out of him as Goku glomped him. The fully grown saru giggled like a school girl on crack and began kissing the chibi's cheeks. 

" Cute kitty" 

Goku began scratching the neko under the chin. The disbelieving chibi neko's eyebrow began twitching. Goku turned and started observing his surroundings ( surroundings is a long word.... a bit like.... promiscuous ^ ^ U ) 

" How the hell did we get here?" 

The chibi Sanzo sweatdropped. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai stared out of the window. 

" Where on earth are they?" 

The one eyed yokai felt something squeezing and bumping against his leg, he looked down. His darling kappa was tenderly f*cking his leg. Almost as if he sensed Hakkai's gaze, the chibi looked up at him with lust filled eyes and purred questionably. Hakkai smiled sweetly and locked the bedroom so no one could interrupt this intimate moment. 

" Oooh, Goooojyoo..." 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

P.O.G.O man finally found what he was looking for, he pulled a large fish out of the handbag. 

//_ Yes, this will leave them unconscious..//_

He turned to the source of the noise, his reaction to what he saw pushed painfully against his shiny lycra leggings, not that he minded the pain, oh no! he liked pain a lot in that sense ( AAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!) 

It seemed that his beloved monk made one hell of a sexy cat but it wasn't that that was making him drool. No,... it was the angelic vision before him. 

A white skirt danced softly with the wind, gently caressing long unblemished thighs. The neck of the top the youth was wearing hung around his biceps, hugging them shyly. His shoulders, uncovered, glowed softly in the patches of sunlight. He was cradling the only love of Daisy, but.. maybe ..somewhere in Daisy's heart there was enough room for the monk and this angel. 

Goku turned on hearing the strangest gurgling noises he'd ever heard. 

The innocent one was now facing the oh so fortunate P.O.G.O man, Daisy felt the fish begin to slip from his fingers, he quickly returned to reality. 

_// As much as I don't want to hurt them I must kidnap them before their friends come//_

Daisy launched the attack. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

OOOOOooooo what will happen next?! Will Daisy have his P.O.G.O ways?! Will Hakkai's leg get pregnant!? What kind of a sick barstard calls his son Daisy?! What kind of a wierdo writes this!? Maybe you'll find out next chapter!! but until then ... RRRREEEEVVIIIEEEWWSSS?????? Can I have rrreeevvieewwwsss??? Is this chapter longer than the others ? Oh well! If anyone got messenger they can always talk to me if they want . **Dragora girl**!! I will answer that e mail!!! even if it's the last thing I do !!!! 


	6. Battle of the titans

Hello again, I'm back at last! This chapter is dedicated to all those who have had exams, especially philosophy or language exams, it's also dedicated to all those who get forbidden to use the computer or get chucked off it. To all those people; I know exactly how you feel! 

Damn you Descartes!!!! You and your thoughts can burn! All you've ever managed is to wreck the lives of young people all around the world by giving out crap ideas that teachers decide to put exams on !!! I hate you ! And I bet I fail my philosophy exam, damn it! 

If the exams weren't enough, Lotus Word Pro gave up on me and wouldn't let me open my files and then Internet Explorer decided it wouldn't let me on to ff.net. 

I would like to thank; **sLL** as I have said before all is possible in the world of Wargod!! **Kat** Wai! you think my idea's good!? **aspara**; your review's wicked! I love it! I think that's the longest word that's been used to describe this fic! thanks! **fei**;Ah! as you can see Daisy is no way nearly as innocent as his name.. my God ! what have I created!?** Jashuang**; Did you know your the only person that asked that? But I'm not gonna tell you, just see if you can work it out. **Babygxpress**; Hmm!yes indeed daisy what are you going to do next? **JM**; Yes! Yes it is ! Muahahaha And now suffer it's wrath!**Mi**; I'm so sorry I know you've been waiting ages for this update and I'm sorry!! *bad girl, bad!* **Bob**!; Your another one who's review I found hilarious! I love it!**Chibi onna!!!!** Wai! Thank you I hope this is to your liking **ShiNiChYan;** Your parents are evil!! even more than pogo man! What did you do!? kill the cat?! And once again M i; I'm sorry I'm a bad girl! I'm sorry! Oh! and to **Lady Kazune Kikenshi**, thank you so much for reviewing sunshine!! I thought I was no good at angst! 

Disclaimer; Its bloody obvious, but for anyone who doesn't know, Saiyuki is not mine. 

May the battle commence. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Daisy slapped Goku round the face with the large Haddock he was carrying, Goku's head flung back with the force of the blow, the cracking sound it made echoing round the forest. Sanzo leapt at P.O.G.O man and began clawing his knees, given that it was all the chibi could reach. Daisy squealed and began crying. Goku, finally recovered from the Super Fish Slap From Hell, once more called on his Almighty, Perverted Overly Gay Old People Bashing Staff and proceeded to beat the living crap out of Daisy. Unfortunately, P.O.G.O man had swung his handbag at the yokai. 

" OW, my face!!" 

P.O.G.O man took advantage of the situation and began pulling at Goku's hair, ripping his shirt ( Are you surprised he knows how to bitch fight?) and stomping on anything that happened to be near his feet, including Sanzo. 

Getting highly pissed off at being stomped on by an old overweight git, the chibi monk thrust his hand in to robe sleeve and whipped out his gun .. his small, 15 mm big, gun. 

_// Typical, .. Bloody typical//_

The chibi sweatdropped profusely before resorting to smashing his head against a nearby tree. There was then a ripping noise and a blood curdling scream. Sanzo turned round to see what had made Goku scream like someone who'd just seen their parents naked. 

Daisy was poking the, now unconscious yet still twitching, saru. 

" Oh my ! He's so incredibly innocent, to think he fainted just on seeing my underwear.." 

Sanzo now saw what would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his miserable life. Daisy's trousers, that were before stretched painfully over his large quantities of body mass, seemed to have given up and ripped under the pressure, now revealing something that never should have seen the light of day. Sanzo's mind refused the image, trying to erase it mere existence. His vision began swimming and the world lost all light. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai looked up from where he was desperately trying to scrub the white mark off his and Gojyo's trousers. 

//_Maybe I should just give up, I think everyone has a chance with him apart from me .. hell! even my leg's had better luck than me!//_

He looked down at said leg in badly concealed jealousy. 

//_Yeah, you smile like the smug little bastard you are!//_

To which his leg responded. 

//_ Hakkai can't get laid , Hakkai can't get laid, Hakkai can't get laid_// 

" Damn you!" 

Meanwhile the chibi in question was running around the room naked, arms outstretched and giggling hysterically. He ran round the table and to the left, to the right and in to the bathroom, he smashed in to the wall, relentless, he ran on. 

Hakkai picked up the chibi, who carried on running in the air, and placed him in the water. The neko began splashing the water all over Hakkai and the bathroom in its attempts to get out. 

" Lets give you a bath, shall we?" 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

From his position on Goku's chest, Sanzo observed his surroundings. The pink teletubbie curtains had been drawn blocking the view outside from his vision. By now, the chibi had been overcome by the powerful desire to be violently sick all over the bright pink carpet . 

The mini monk shifted his position a bit, he wasn't going to get off the young boy's chest, it was much to comfortable to do that. He had to admit that though he was thoroughly pissed off he couldn't help but be slightly pleased. He had no idea who that old man was or what he wanted but he had to be a mad man to have a bedroom like this; pink sheets with a builder on them, pink curtains, pink lamp. Big pink hearts on the wardrobe doors, a red heart shaped chair, the pink carpet with a red heart shaped rug on it, toys covering the walls and the big pink bow that was tying Goku's hands to the bedposts (Joy. ^ ^). And then there was the strangest poster that the chibi had ever seen .. how on earth did the fireman get his hose up there? it looked very painful yet the postman seemed to be enjoying it ( Where's the hose then ?^ ^). Even though all this freaked him no end, as I have already said, he felt slightly pleased. The cute young boy he'd found in the forest was on the bed with him, he didn't know who the kid was or where he'd come from but for some reason he felt as if he'd been waiting a long time for this.. strange huh? But who cared about that when the boy had such pretty golden eyes, they were in fact like the eyes of the kitten that the neko had won in the cat fight ... wait a sec ..what happened to that kitten? Sanzo shrugged, it didn't matter this boy was just as nice. He purred happily and flicked his tail. 

Goku giggled as the chibi's tail flicked over one of his nipples again, it was strange, he was very sensitive there. The chibi monk turned round to face him on hearing the saru's laugh, he tilted his head to one side and flicked his tail. Goku jumped this time, the chibi flicked his tail again. The bedroom door burst open and P.O.G.O man skipped in and clasped his hands. 

" Oh I'm sorry my darling angel.." 

//_.... an...gel..???!!//_

" But don't worry I fixed your jumper, seeeeeeee!!!???" 

Daisy pulled the jumper out from behind his back it had been sewn up and was now a light ...pink colour. P.O.G.O man skipped over to his My little pony dressing table and searched in his Sailor Moon jewellery box. 

" Look I put your choker in here so it wouldn't get lost" 

He turned round and began drooling as an idea popped in to his sick mind. 

" Can I put it on for youuu??" 

Goku meanwhile, could barley keep from groaning out loud as Sanzo flicked his tail again. As it seemed, on turning round, the chibi's tail had made it's way up the skirt Goku was wearing and was now rubbing against ...a certain part of his anatomy ( I can't write it down, my family keeps walking by, they could read this!) which was now beginning to harden under the neko's attentions. (Ahh!) The monk flicked his tail again, Goku arched his back and bit his lip. 

P.O.G.O man watched as the young boy stretched suggestively and, quite suddenly, had a nose bleed, he dropped the choker and rushed off to tend to it. 

The chibi picked up the choker and tied it round the saru's neck, he then untied the bow. Goku flung himself at the chibi and started nuzzling his face against the monk's. Fortunately Goku's head wasn't blown off because a) the monk thought himself a cat and b) said monk was as horny as a tokomon on heat. The yokai grabbed his jumper and leaped out the window with Sanzo under his arm. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai sighed as he looked down at the small plastic tube. He pulled out the paper again just to make sure. __

__"Pink" 

_//What the hell is pink supposed to mean!?//_

He turned to read what the box said, only to find chibi Gojyo chewing on it whilst blinking furiously. 

_//I see the catnip hasn't worn off//_

"Oh hell!" 

Hakkai threw away the pregnancy test. 

_//What on earth am I thinking? Men can't get pregnant and legs most definitely can not get pregnant! I must be going_ _mad!//_

Hakkai stooped low and picked up the chibi neko. He walked out of the bathroom, turning off the lights. Forgotten, far in the corner, in the bin, a pink light began glowing in the darkness abiding many events for the future.... 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Goku once more got his skirt caught on a branch, if it wasn't careful he'd rip it off and go starkers. He unhooked the skirt and set off, the chibi held begrudgingly under his arm. The saru couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't dead yet. The normal Sanzo would have shot him a long time ago. Setting aside the occness Sanzo has experienced in this fic, Goku believed something was very wrong with the monk. And yes, the monkey had guessed it was Sanzo due to the fact that he's actually more intelligent than he lets on and to the fact that the neko hadn't had to pay to use Sanzo's Glare Of Death ( Heero Yuy had already patented the Death Glare) 

The trees had begun thinning and quite suddenly the inn loomed over the boy and his chibi_. _The saru squealed in delight__

__"Squeee" said Goku 

And he ran in......... 

But P.O.G.O man was waiting for them. 

"Whhhyyyy did you go my love??? I was worried!!" 

Letting out a warcry that would make a Celtic warrior proud, Goku launched the first thing he could get his hands on at Daisy consequently; Sanzo. 

With the force Goku put behind the throw, the chibi sank in to P.O.G.O man's .. generous belly, and stayed. 

Daisy wrapped his arms around his stomach attempting to cradle the chibi that was now residing there. 

"Oh my darling your back! Both of you!" 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai grabbed the towel off the bed. As it was, the catnip had worn off. So the green eyed yokai had set about dressing and drying the neko_. _ He passed the brush through the neko's hair again, trying his best to get the tangles out. He privately marvelled at the smooth silkyness of it, he let it slide through his fingers, smiling absently at the sensation it caused. The popping noise barley reaching him in his dream world, everything misted over, so soft... 

"Umm, Hakkai?" 

"Mmm?" 

Hakkai's hand stopped mid stroke. 

_//Who the hell called me?!//_

__"Ah, Hakkai? What's going on?" 

Hakkai let out a high pitched scream as he realised that Gojyo was back to normal. 

" Oi! You almost left me deaf!" 

_//Oh my! How did this happen? Maybe it just wears off ! No. Because, then, why were Goku's boxers back to normal?_ _Then... Ah! maybe..//_

__"HAKKAI!!" 

Both men swung towards the origin of the shout.. from downstairs .. the bar! Both dashed out the door. Gojyo ran down the step taking them 2 at a time. He burst in to the lobby and across to the bar, Hakkai following. A fat man with extremely bad dress sense was hugging his stomach lovingly and gripping Goku's wrist tightly with his other hand. The saru was screaming his head off. Gojyo, wondering what the f*** was going on, expressed it so. 

"What the f*** is going on!?" 

The old man turned round and gasped. Daisy reached in to his hand bag and suddenly hurled something..... 

"POP" 

A bewildered red haired chibi landed on the floor. 

" OH FOR F***"S SAKE!!!!!!!" said Hakkai 

* * * * * * * * * * * 

Yes ! now I must do the next chapter. I sorry if I let you all down a bit . Well.. G'night everyone!! 


	7. The fall of Pogo man?

Hello! I'm back finally. Please forgive me for taking soo long but it was due to various factors; 

A) I had a philosophy of art exam coming up, a French exam, a language exam and a technical drawing exam as well as various drawing projects. 

B) There are 7 people in my house 6 of which use the computer frequently 

C) My parents have buggered off to England leaving me and my brothers in charge of the house for a month. 

D) Some building work needed to be finished and I had to help 

E) Spanish houses frequently don't have central heating, the house is huge and therefor my fingers go numb whilst typing 

So please forgive me for taking soo damn long, and thank you soo much to all that reviewed; 

**Flor Wong**; Bother me? no way would you bother me, so there's no reason to say sorry!! thanks for reviewing! **Neko13**; I hope you received the drawing! **M_i**; Awww! Poor ikle beawie! I know how it feels to have your computer break down. You reviewed twice!.. three times! I'm afraid it is reaching the end. But what do you think .. a sequel? ^___^? **Densy chan**; Insane? what do you mean insane? * big innocent eyes * I'm perfectly sane * twitch twitch * yesssss preciousssss * twitch twitch * **Crazytokomon**; woohoo! my fic's a hit!?? Oh joy **Kimie**: Kimie kun! Zeetness beawie!!! This chapter is dedicated to you for putting up with me on msn and for not getting really pissed off at me for not updating. I really do love your fic and as I've updated now I have a right to squeal: Update, update, update, update!!! Me; Oh you like it! you really like it! I'm so happy! I'm gonna cry! **MeikoChan**; I don't mind the caps at all! in fact I love them! **Aspara**; I'm sorry! are you angry? forgive me please!** Abelle**; thank you! oi when are you gonna update your fic if I remember correctly Sanzo was in a teddy bear costume... **Babyg+press**; ^_________^ I hope your not still unconscious. I love your reviews they always make me smile **Dref**; I'm sorry. I've taken ages. The next chapter however will follow soon** Fei**; yup Heero beat Sanzo to getting their glares patented and Sanzo was pissed off... but Sanzo beat Heero to getting their stances patented, Heero now has to fire his gun whilst standing like a gay cos of that, and Heero's pissed off ^ ^ **SephirothduMatrea;** I'm sorry if it's a bit confusing but... you got it the second time round didn't you? ^ ^U **Deru;**Wai! once more ye hath reviewed, now you can see what is gonna happen! **Toriko**; Awwwww thank you! ^ ^ I don't deserve it** Ceres17**; Ahh I don't know should I do a sequel about that or should I leave it??? **Yumeneko**; I'm soory but I can't do S/H Sowwy.** Nan** Here is the next chapter 

**This is the penultimate chapter. The next chapter will be the last!**

Disclaimer; Yes I know I'm absolutely marvellous but.. no.. on the contrary of what you might think, Saiyuki is not mine 

And now we shall continue the fic before Sanzo suffocates in Daisy's flab. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Raving like a maniac, Hakkai punched P.O.G.O man as hard as he could. Chibi Sanzo was dislodged from Daisy's stomach and flew in to Goku's waiting arms. 

Daisy squeaked and started running but was tripped up by Goku and Hakkai began stomping on him. Sanzo managed to meow in a very insulting way and Gojyo was eyeing up Hakkai's legs. 

Daisy gave a yelp and struggled out from under Hakkai's feet. He ran towards the door, on passing Gojyo, he grabbed the chibi kappa and ran out 

" Revenge is mine!! " 

And he skipped off cackling * 

" NOOOOOO! Gojyooooo!!!!!!" 

The 3 remaining members of the Sanzo ikkuo ran out after him, only to find that Daisy had disappeared. 

" Damn he can skip fast" 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

P.O.G.O man sobbed again, This red haired chibi wasn't anywhere near as sexy or as innocent as his 2 other loves. He looked up and started bawling again. 

Gojyo, being the nosy kappa he was, had begun searching through Daisy's stuff. He quickly located P.O.G.O man's pogo porn, which he immediately set down and backed away from carefully .. even the ero kappa had his limits. 

Still shuddering from the chilling images he'd seen on the magazine covers he set about raiding the old man's drawers, strangely he could only find women's underwear. ( I will not follow that thought ) 

He afterwards passed on to the teddy bears, it was then that he saw it... eyes flashing in the dim lamp light, the chibi kappa's blood began to boil. He kicked it and it emitted an awful high pitched mechanical squealing. The neko grabbed the pink and purple coloured Furby's eyelashes and he ripped them out. Daisy was too wrapped up in his self pity to notice the abuse his Furby was receiving. 

Gojyo in the meantime had put the Furby's head in his mouth, he clenched his teeth and bit the Furby's head off. The kappa's not all that keen on Furbys you see. 

Upon seeing the chibi spitting bits of something on his lovely pink rug he became immensely hacked off. He stomped up towards the neko and yanked the object out of his hand. He then realised that it was his Furby, his dear beloved Furby, the one who constantly told him that he loved him, the one that always made interesting comments on everyday things, the one who'd been by his side always. Daisy threw back his head and howled. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

" Hakkai, its dark can't we go back?" 

"No we can't. I believe I have finally discovered the way to turn them back, but I'm not doing or saying anything until we get Gojyo back!" 

"Hakkai, I don't want to go back, that man's weird.. I mean.... he has a _pink_ bedroom!" 

Hakkai whirled round, fear and worry clear on his face for the first time. 

" What's wrong with pink!?" 

Goku stopped walking and carefully took 3 steps away from Hakkai 

" Nothing Hakkai, nothing at all" 

Hakkai let out a sigh of relief. 

"Good, I was almost worried then" 

They trudged on forward through the silken darkness, trees barley visible, shrouded by murky greyness. Further, in the distance, the surroundings seemed to grow darker before bursting in to light, in this case, a pink neon light, a pink neon light reading the words; "P.O.G.O mansion this way, my lovies" with an arrow pointing to the right. 

"I think it's that way" 

"Are you sure Hakkai?" 

_// Yes I know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but I can't say anything too clever or monocle man will get suspicious...//_

_//..... Cunning, aren't I?//_

Goku smiled and curled one side of his lip in an amazingly accurate imitation of Austin Powers. 

Sanzo sweatdropped. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

P.O.G.O man grabbed Gojyo and plonked him down on the bed. Due to the bad lighting Daisy hadn't realised until now the real length of the chibi's hair but now he had..... lets say he'd even forgiven the Furby incident. 

He poured out all of his hair clips, hair bands and alice bands on to the bed. the p monster then began plating and curling the chibi's hair. A pretty clip here, a nice bow there. He did a ponytail with all of the curly hair. P.O.G.O man suddenly leapt off the bed, tied a collar round Gojyos neck so he couldn't move and skipped off to get something to wet the chibi's hair with. 

"I'd prefer to use water but I mustn't so I'll use gel... now where is it?" 

Gojyo looked up from where he was chewing the sheets and stared, as Daisy began dancing around, completely bewildered by this strange little man. 

Daisy waddled back to the bed and began applying large quantities of gel to the neko's hair. 

The bedroom door flew open and Hakkai stormed in on the verge of having a rather violent and unattractive hissy fit. The yokai pointed an accusing forefinger at the podgy man sat on the bed, and then, in a voice about as high pitched as a Beegee and as loud as a woman remarked. 

"You munchkin!!!!!!" 

To which P.O.G.O. man responded. 

"There were 2 on the bed and the fat one said; Nobody more or the chib's hair gets it!" 

He grabbed the neko and pointed the brush at it's hair. Gojyo looked helplessly at Hakkai, Goku had fainted from shock and Hakkai, after a few minutes of sheer horror, let his hissy fit loose on the unsuspecting old sod. P.O.G.O man flew out of the bedroom and landed on the kitchen table, which immediately broke under his weight. 

Hakkai swept, ( Yes, this Hakkai sweeps) out of the murkiness of the bedroom and in to rays of light spilling from the kitchen window, the hero had come to save his damsel. Daisy grabbed a nearby frying pan and attacked Hakkai with it. Goku, still in the bedroom, saw the teddies and was struck by a brain wave (We'll come back to that). And Gojyo? Gojyo was busy chatting up Goku's legs, something that Sanzo was not happy about. 

"Give me back my looovveeeeee!!!" 

P.O.G.O man's frying pan broke at the handle. Daisy then resorted to his secret attack. 

"Super fluffy love love!!!!!!" 

He leapt and soared through the air with his bum facing Hakkai who was soon being crushed under the heavy man's bum cheeks. 

"Ha! Now give me back my mini monk!" 

Then Goku entered the fight. (Here we see what his brain wave was). He had Sanzo's tiny gun in his hand, pointing it at the head of the teddy he held in his arms..... It was Tinky Winky. (Told you he was clever) 

"NOOOOOO!!!! No! Leave him be!! He hasn't done anything!!!" 

Sanzo sat on Goku's shoulders shaking his head at the sheer stupidity of it all. 

"Let us go and leave us alone or I blow his head off" 

P.O.G.O man lowered his head and let them out the door, Hakkai leapt up from where he was lying. Seriously pissed off about not being able to beat up Daisy he ki blasted P.O.G.O man's bedroom and set about smashing up the house. Goku ran back in and set fire to Daisy's teddy bears for a laugh, whilst Sanzo shredded The Big Red Handbag and Gojyo stuffed loads of loo roll down the toilet. 

And then they all laughed, they laughed and laughed and laughed. Ha Ha, Hee Hee 

And they all ran home for tea. 

" Oi Hakkai... Are you going to tell me how to get them back?" 

" Yes of course.. just wait till we get back.." 

Behind them deep in the shadows of the forest, a purple something followed the merry group. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

OOoooooooo, is that purple something P.O.G.O man back for vengeance?... We shall see. Who ever can guess what the cure is, which substance will turn the chibi's back correctly; will receive the picture of P.O.G.O man!!!! Go on give it a go! I repeat that the next chapter will be the last.. although I might make a sequel, I don't know, tell me what you think 


	8. a pogo finale!

Navidad, navidad, dulce navidad! ^ ^ It's Christmas, Hanuka, whatever you want to call it or just another day!!!! Oh! this was supposed to be sent yesterday but I went to see Lord of the rings so... Go see it!!! 

This is the end, this is the story's last chapter but due to the enthusiasm of some reviewers and to the thumbs up from Kimie; there will be a sequel .. it just might take a while. 

Disclaimer: No, Saiyuki is not mine... but one day... one day when I rule the world and statues of me are erected everywhere, then, then Saiyuki will be mine!! Muahahahahaha! * Ahem* 

One more thing I'd really like to thank all of those who reviewed, I really appreciate them all and I hope you all review my next fics, 

Merry Christmas to you, one and all!! 

Navidad, navidad, dulce navidad. La alegria de este dia hay que festejar!! 

Felices fiestas!!!!!!!!!! ^__________~ 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai put on his 'I've just farted, I wonder if anyone will notice ' smile. Goku watched him from across the room and wondered if the smile was because Hakkai had just cacked his pants or because he was a sadist and was thoroughly enjoying shoving chibi nekos in a bowl of freezing cold water. Of one thing Goku was sure; Sanzo was gonna be pissed. 

The moon still hung low in the sky, the wind cold, winter had already began. Unease caused the hairs on the back of Hakkai's neck to stand on end, the green eyed yokai was not tense from the knowledge that he would most likely die when Sanzo came back to his senses, chibi or no chibi. No, it was the tension the rose from the wait before an attack. For P.O.G.O man lived on .... 

Goku, however, being the intelligent young man passing for a dumb saru that he was, had already anticipated this. Yes, the saru knew Daisy's weak point. 

Hung from the ceiling in the corridor in front of their adjacent rooms was Tinkey Winkey, Winnie the Pooh and The Tweenies. The nooses tied tightly round their necks, needles sticking out from their eyes. And from the balcony window, hung a large poster of the dark riders from Lord of the Rings .. wooo enough to scare anyone away. ( I love those dark riders, their my fav characters after Legolas ^ ^) 

Although, Goku was at that moment trying to show Hakkai he was needed by acting scared, 

" But Hakkai, what if he comes in the night?! He scares me!" 

Feeling his courage boosting Hakkai made a quick heroic response 

"Never fear Goku for I am here" 

Sweatdropping profusely Goku decided to go to bed, he turned to say goodnight to Sanzo. 

"I don't mean to bring you down and hassle you Hakkai but they haven't changed back!!!"  
"What?.. oh no.. " 

"I was so sure if it !... I ...I don't know what we can do now Goku I... I'm out of ideas.." 

Goku began sobbing softly at this revelation 

" I want him back Hakkai, I want him back" 

Hiding his own overwhelming grief, Hakkai ushered the younger lad and the still very much chibi Sanzo into the room next door and in to bed. Quickly returning, he burst in to tears 

" Oh Gojyo! Gojyo! Who shall lay me now!!?" 

Sleep took over the minds of the 2 yokai and their nekos, sweetly they sleep, dreaming of food in 1 case and rampant sex in all the others. 

Little did they know of the one called pogo, little did they know of his devious plans, little did they know that they lay at his hands .. until he saw the dark riders poster that is. For P.O.G.O had seen Lord of the Rings, upon seeing the dark riders he had pooped himself and had had to go home to change his pants. And now here they were, keeping him from his beloved. Daisy quaked in fear. His footing on the guttering slipped and down, down, down he fell to his doom. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Sanzo woke up feeling very warm. Thin arms were wrapped around his waist from behind. You know, something perfectly normal, so he turned and began hugging the other person back. As always, his libido was wide awake and screaming before his conscious mind could even register that it was awake. Sanzo's libido, who is actually called Horn .. no guesses for why.., began squealing like a rabid fangirl 

_// Ahh!//_ it squealed_ // I have a Goku in my bed !!!//_

Not to be shamed, the racional part of Sanzo's mind, aka; Martin ( personal joke between my family and my brother Jay ) immediately, and to everyone's dismay, woke up and began trying to avoid the imminent act of animalistic pleasure, that we're not going to see anyway cos this is a PG 13.. still the idea's there. But, given that this part of his mind is a boring git.. 

_// Yes! All right! I know I'm the baddie round here!!!!//_

Anyway, being the evil vibe merchant it was it began it's usual drill 

_// You can't do this!!!! It's wrong! He's a child! We're supposed to be celibate , you barstard!!!//_

_//Yes, I know and that's something I intend to solve!!// _

_//You bloody well will not!!// _

Ahh, but Sanzo's hand were following what he really wanted: to screw Goku silly. 

They slid, of their own accord, up Goku's shirt, slowly running over the younger boy's stomach and up towards his chest. Softly rolling the boy over, Sanzo began uncovering Goku. He traced his fingers up Goku's thigh and under his skirt, lifting it up as his hand moved onwards. The youth moaned quietly. 

_//Oooh! he's liking it! // _

_// No, No, No!// _

Sanzo's other hand joined the first one stroking further up the boy's legs. 

_//No, No, No!// _

_// Oh wow!// _

_//No, No, No!//_

_// He hasn't got any pants on!// _

_//Yes, Yes, Yes!// _

Goku opened his eyes as Sanzo leaped on top of him. 

" Ne.. Sanzooo .. What're you doing?" 

At that moment, however, peace had just been declared in Sanzo's mind and Martin was currently dancing with Horn. This made it rather difficult for Sanzo to tell the saru to shut up or to explain what he was doing, so, thoroughly wetting a finger, he decided to let his actions talk for him 

"Sanzo!" 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hakkai stared at the wall, from behind which some rather.. interesting sounds were being emitted. 

_//What on earth are Goku and the neko doing in there?//_ ( hmmm ^ ^ what indeed? ^ ^) 

Hakkai rolled over and in to Gojyo. He stretched and wrapped his arms round the taller man. 

And. in. to. Gojyo. And in to a full sized Gojyo. 

" You took your time waking up, Hakkai" 

A full sized naked Gojyo 

" Gojyo" 

No prizes for originality there Hakkai 

Gojyo smiled and gently began pulling Hakkai's trousers down 

" Ne Hakkai, you know I love you, right?" 

"I.. Gojyo... I love you too" 

" Good. Now .. lets have some fun.." 

Hakkai couldn't help giggling excitedly as Gojyo began kissing his neck 

"Go...Gojyo.." 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

P.O.G.O man couldn't believe this was happening to him, thankfully his ... puppy fat saved him from his fall, in fact, he bounced right back up again. But now, now he'd lost everything. He'd had it all now he had nothing, well, he had his Pink Plastic Bag that was substituting his Big Red Handbag. He rummaged around inside it and pulled out the now very abused cat tail, he picked a bit of fluff off it. Daisy hugged it to his chest and began to cry as he made his dejected way along 

_// Woe is me!// _

Children giggled loudly in the park as they played, the breeze blew through the bare branches of the trees, viciously stripped of their proud golden leaves by the savage winter that had finally torn through autumn. 

Daisy shivered and pulled his shawl closer around him. He looked at the ragged cat tail again. 

" You! You caused all of this !!! It's your fault!!!" 

He threw the cat tail at a wall and ran away as fast as he could. He ran and ran and ran. 

The cat tail however did not hit the wall, instead it flew through the window that was mounted in it. the usual popping noise followed. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Gojyo looked down at the green eyed chibi neko that was currently smiling up at him. It tilted it's head and moved it's tail. 

" Oh.. didums!" said Gojyo. 

_// What the fuck am I supposed to do now!!??//_

His eyes strayed around the room, finally falling on a rather familiar, and rather mangy, cat tail. 

_// Maybe...//_

Gojyo picked up the tail cautiously, he closed his eyes and slapped himself with it 

"POP" 

An extremely horny chibi Gojyo with cat ears pinned chibi Hakkai to the floor. The room was soon filled with high pitched mewing and loud purring. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Far away, well, o.k, not far, only about as far as Daisy could run in 10 minuets .. so .. about 5 meters, a young yokai prince could be seen beating up an old man 

" You will not put your manky paws on my Doukakaji!! You got that you old perv!!?" 

" Oh Kougaji! " 

The yokai in question turned towards his lieutenant. 

" Yeess?" 

Both yokais grabbed hands and went gooey eyed. 

" Baby are you jealous of that disgusting old man that tried to glomp me?" 

" Yes of course I am! I'm your only bitch" 

AWWWWWW! such romance !^ ^ 

" In that case lets beat the crap out of him together!" 

" I love you honey bunch"  
" And I love you, pumpkin pie"* 

And they both turned to the now infamous pervert 

" Fuck!" exclaimed Daisy 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

* yup this is taken from Pulp Fiction, and, no, it isn't mine 

This is the end! I'd like to say something really cleaver so that you'll all have something to think about but I can't so I'll just quote this Spanish phrase" If your sad, smile for it's better a sad smile than the sadness of never smiling again": if you are depressed or sad try to see the better things and be happy about them or you might for get how to be happy again 

Ja ne! 


End file.
